Destination: Bangkok
Date: 1-4 December 2006
Purpose: King's Cup 2006
Roommate: Kel
Remarks: Going with the club. Don't fully fill the luggage when departing, leave some space for lots and lots of shopping goods.
Conclusion: Great fun

Destination: Hong Kong
Date: 20th December 2006-15th January 2007 (TBC)
Purpose: Training and participation in the premier league there
Roommate: Honoured to be staying in Hong Kong's national player, Arif Ali's house
Remarks: Sadly, going alone. Will not spend Christmas and New Year's Eve in Singapore. One month away from my closed ones. Will be shopping like crazy.
Conclusion: Good experience and exposure

went to extend my passport today for the trips above. was chatting with kel in the morning about all the plans we have in bangkok. its gonna be so exciting. haha. i think i'm there more for the fun than the tournament. the hong kong trip will be kinda stressing for me. coz if i go, then i'll not be able to spend christmas and new year's eve with my loved ones here. but it will be a good exposure if i go. i'll be training with a top player in asia and even staying with him. well, at least i've got my plans sorted out on what to do after the Os. i even have to leave some time for my business plans with leon and liang jing. oh wells, too much fun until it becomes stress. next up, meeting at club, 8.30pm later. busy busy.

phew! just got home from a long morning. woke up at 6am today and went to school to pass my classmates their class jerseys. then went to delta for another school's training. had to postpone my appointment with mr tchen to wednesday morning instead. went back to school after training to support my friends who took there mother tongue Os today. sadly, they opted to go home instead of lunch with me. that's why i'm munching on unhealthy instant noodles now. haha.

yipee, today finally gave details for bangkok SRC trip at the end of this year. it will be a hockey vacation for me. first to bangkok for few days, then off to hong kong for a month where i will spend christmas and new year there. all in the name of hockey, bangkok for King's Cup and hong kong to play the youth league there. well, like i always say. hockey is my life. i wake up in the morning, i dribble the ball for 5 mins. before i sleep, i do it as well. after every meal, i do it as well. when i'm bored, i do it too. call me at any time of the day, rain or shine, i'll play and play until i die. i love hockey! =D

the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak;

watched a really touching sport movie on tv today. its a true story about a school american football team which fought hard and went through alot but still lost in the finals. it was really really really touching. i feel bad today, coz i didn't study at all. ok, maybe a little bit, just that little bit. to a minimal. i keep telling myself just mug hard once and for all. just endure a little bit more for this once in a lifetime exam. however, i'm just too tired to do so. its bad. maybe i'm not so motivated coz i already studied really hard for the prelims but still didn't do well. i don't know, i got a bad feeling. i'm gonna die so bad. =(

my parents came back to singapore last night and they dragged me to another wedding dinner again today. i just came home from it not long ago. haha, it was weird. coz i don't know who was getting married but i just tagged along for the free and delicious food. hehe. the video they made was kinda sweet and touching, makes me have the urge to get married like now! haha, the groom ugly la, bride pretty. wasted.

other than that, i spent the whole day staying at home to study and only went out awhile in the afternoon to buy my cap. yea, tmrw is gonna be another mugging day. bleah!

Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?

Wish you'd been
Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angel's heart

The kiss was true
Has to end somehow
But I am livin' proof of what love is about

It's hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It's sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don't know
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Even though I'm down

My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
You're still in my thoughts

It's hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It's sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don't know
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

This time its done
It'll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess it's sad just the same

I guess the truth
Doesn't matter somehow
But you were livin' proof of what love is about...

sorrows behind every smile;


another boring day la. my parents are cool yet a little retarded. they flew off to attend a wedding dinner yesterday. then they are flying back again later tonight. gosh, air tickets need money. why not stay a few more days to enjoy being away from the hustle and bustle of singapore while i enjoy a few more days of freedom! haha. nothing much to blog about. i spent the whole day on chemistry only. ya, that's all.

phew, just came home from collecting class jerseys. i think its kinda cool. haha, here a picture of mine. as usual for the name and the number. heh. =)


had was a very productive session in school. went early in the morning for help in chem and maths. cool stuff. haha, then asked my gay partner shaun for lunch. loitered around parkway for quite awhile before finally deciding on what to eat. had a long long chat and it was really fun. heh. then of course, see pretty girls here and there. that's what i always do when i go parkway, no choice. they are there, its a sin if i do not see.

ah, freedom yet boring. parents flew off today for a wedding dinner without me. =(

crawled to school early this morning to see my teachers to go through the papers i have done. was going through happily until a group of my classmates came to interrupt. to add on, it was principal's farewell thingy, so my teacher said she would be busy and ask me to go back again tomorrow. goodness me.

alright, so i went to vivocity. i like the place coz it has all the glam shops but i also dislike a place because it is somewhere you won't enjoy much unless you are ready to spend lots of money. haha. i would advise all of you not to go first, every shop will be opened only in january 2007. i think the sky garden was cool though. all the water features and beautiful scenery. then the big games arcade upstairs, the sweety candy empire and all those boutiques. last but not least, they have my favourite carl's jr!! woohoo. anyway, in summary, i think the place is suitable for tourists only la. let's stick to the usual shopping centres. my cousin is right, the place is like orchard road all packed into one, just that it doesn't have all the designer labels. finally, i must say its a huge place. =)

met wanting in the afternoon to eat, see hockey sticks then to delta early. i sucked at delta today, sad sad. anyway, if you're reading this wanting, congrats on your hat trick! gosh, you scored a hat trick against jude's army. against the olympian's mighty army. *salutes* =D

BEHOLD!! the primary 6 ivan!!! *blushes*

i don't think my face changed much? thinner now perhaps.

i was already terrorizing at a young age. glad i turned away in case my specs on my face were seen from the front, it will scare everyone.

anyways, today is hari raya. the indonesian govenment has shortened the sentence of prisoners to celebrate. no wonder indonesia has a high crime rate and is often chaotic.

i'm so nice, i wrote testimonials for my classmates. heh. today is a productive day for me! i finally completed the five year series. haha. then tomorrow i'm gonna go school to see some teachers for clarification before going to vivocity for shopping to pamper myself a little. i feel good today, i always do when i study alot. haha. alright, time to worry about what's for dinner.

finally no more official lessons. time to study on our own. woohoo! last night i studied till 4.30am this morning! i feel great when i study so much. haha. later gonna go down for 16s friendly with the UK team again. (PAM TAN, dont worry, i'm just going to watch and not play =D) yipee! made appointment with some teachers to see them in school on wednesday already. ok, i'm gonna go study more now. =)

whee! today is a really cool day coz i crazily found a mango and a peach in my bag. la la la. nvm. ok, nocturnal study programme starts again tonight. till 3am ok ivan? ok sure. hahaha. spent part of the day studying and slacking around at home. tomorrow's friendly for 16s, i guess i'll just go watch. my knee is definitely not in the condition for any sprints. its two weeks to Os, its study or die. i choose study! =)

today i feel terribly guilty coz i didnt study much! haha, went to town to meet wanting for shopping! bought an adidas shirt only. thanks for accompanying me! i still feel terribly guilty about it! haha. then we went to marina bay mrt to take one of the steamboat restaurant's free shuttle bus. we were evil, we took their free bus but did not dine at their restaurant. hehe.

met limin and harjeet, then off we went for steamboat bbq! haha, its was a big chicken party and of course, live prawns slaughtering frenzy. hehe. super tiring, so decided to torture my wallet a little with a cab home. yawns. i am dead la, i'm supposed to be perfectly fit for studying so that i can give my 100%. but it seems like i'm having a bad flu now. adding on to that is yesterday's injury i got from the friendly. monday playing the same team again. i have this wound on my kneecap which is still so raw until now. there is no blood coming out, so there's no clotting to help heal faster. i think i can see the bone of my kneecap? gross. hard to heal coz its on the kneecap, a bone which is constantly moving when i'm walking. somebody save me.

oh ya. for this steamboat outing, i officially confer limin the title of Prawn Queen. harjeet the Mee Goreng Victim and wanting the Chicken Warrior.

today is a very emotional day. last day that we can sit in that classroom to have lessons with all our dear classmates and teachers. finally school is over. no more secondary school life. next up, the big Os in two weeks time. its time for us to stay home and run this final lap towards it. the 'gang' and i went bowling after school today, was kinda fun except for some unresonable auntie in the cafe that got a good one from me. hehe.

then rushed to delta for friendly game against a UK school team. played for 16s. first time i played hockey since i had my surgery. my wound was hurting in the first half but it got better. haha, i felt that the long rest i had, made me a better player! lol. second half was madness. those big english boys started going physical, there was cursing flying from both sides. haha, cool stuff. nono, bad stuff.

super tiring day, but i'm not gonna sleep early tonight. its back to my mugging season like what i did a month or so ago. study till 3am. then next day 2pm study till 6pm. then 8pm to 3am again. its gonna be like this for the next two weeks. go! go! ivan go! =D

haha, a random picture of something cool outside club's sport lounge toilet. i still think the men's trunks look a lil gayish. heh. today Os practical was a piece of cake la. it was experiments that we have practised so many times in school before. i'm glad my school prepared us well. quite a boring day la. tomorrow is the last day of school before the Os! aiya, indians get to go home earlier. i also wanna go home earlier. will putting a red M&M's on my forehead tomorrow allow me to go home early? haha. no offence ah, just a lil joke. anyway the business plan is building up real well la. everything look's like it will fall perfectly in place and everything's gonna be cool! =)

click on document to enlarge.

no school again today! Os science practicals are just not far away. haha. above is the business plan for public viewing. the more comprehensive one is kept confidential. sorry people. happy looking at it. shall not blog too much today, i'm diving into my books now! tata!

students playing mahjong in class. how cool can school get?

haha, that pic was quite some time ago during chinese lessons. i though mahjong was only four people? anyway, i didn't go to school today. the periods today are kinda redundant, stay home to study will be much better. i think i don't wanna go for any jc first 3 months already. coz january i get to go to hong kong for a month to play hockey! that's so cool right. then i can also start The Big Business Plan with leon and liang jing as well. the plans are going well, leon's mum already brought him to survey shop spaces. liang jing's mum helped him to analyse situations. my mum shared with me problems that could crop up in the business. but there wasn't much coz its quite foolproof already. we are closer to getting rich. $_$

was reminded a few days ago about the baking day i had with my group of gay friends. i think its really interesting ajnd i must share. few of them came knocking on my door with flour, eggs and many other weird stuff. we had no recipe, we just mixed everything together and suprisingly made quite a beautiful heap of dough. so the whole lump went into the oven, soon we smelt something fragrant from the oven. we were so excited coz it really smelt great. we let it cool before opening the oven. we were betting what texture would it be. some said cake, some said muffin, some said cookie and i said bread. so we opened the oven, we were all wrong! guess what? it wasn't anything you've seen in a bakery before. it was a volcanic rock! just one solid lump of blackness! ahhhh!!! haha, it was so hard that it can kill someone when thrown with. goodness me. crazy people messing up my kitchen. hahahaha. fun though. =)

today is the day that everything begins. ladies and gentlemen, remember this very day where three young entrepreneurs take their first step towards being a millionaire by the age of 25. i shall not divulge to everyone about what we would be doing. but this three people will be Leon Siahaan, Tan Liang Jing and myself.

here's a brief sneak peak on our plans after O levels. we will fork out $76,000 each. then we'll get our place and buy our stuff. two workers will be hired and paid $1500 a month each. by hiring workers, we can resume our education after our Os without worrying about our business. it will take 7 months for us to pay back our starting capital of $76,000 as i mentioned. we will then be bagging $8067 per month each. if we save all the earnings and don't spend it all, we will each have $387,200 by the age of 21 when we finish NS.

we will then have new businesses opened up as catalysts to increase our income. we then did an estimation and are very sure that we will have our first million each by the age of 25. this is not some joke that you usually laugh off. its carefully planned and a great path for success. it is totally foolproof and we have even consulted our parents regarding the starting capital already. our plans will begin when the Os are over.

life sucks because most people study half their life away and work the other half to pay debts and start a family. for us, we are risk takers. we start young, we get rich faster. we will soon have no financial worries and live life like how it should be. we are not daydreamers, we are not people who just talk. we are doing it. we will strive towards success and be the few richest in singapore. anyways, we are in the entertainment business. nothing illegal and stuff. its just a perfect way to strike rich. in such a competitive world we are living in, entrepreneurship is the only key to success. keep your eyes opened and watch out for us.

life's funny. the dowager only bought 4D a few times in her few decades of life. then she striked two days ago after not buying for so long! well, its alot of money and yes, i stood to gain. anyway, its kinda sad. there are people who buy 4D all their life till they die but didn't even win once. its really all about luck and not about hard work to go queue up to buy and racking your brains for numbers. haha. so if you think you're a forever lucky person, quit your job. go buy 4D every week and win every week. ok, it's kinda impossible. if you win every week, you'll probably get so freaked out and get sent into a mental hospital. lol.

had a visit from my sort of extended family today. haha, although i've never seen my grandfather before coz he passed away before i was even born, i think he's super cool. he had three wives la! haha, handsome old man. thus, i have such a big big family. aiya, its sad, i was born without any grandfather. both my grandfathers died before i was born. never had a feeling of how it would be like to have a grandfather to talk to and spend time with.

anyways, i feel great today. i spent the whole day staying at home to do past years O level papers. did 2001 and 2002 papers for one subject. then did one maths paper from another school which teacher gave. wah, i feel like a good boy today! back to school tomorrow for more revision! =D

what a busy and hectic day! haha, early in the morning crawled to school to meet the 'gang' for some morning exercise. hehe. then went to remove stitches! ah, the left side stitches was so hard to remove according to the doctor. he was struggling, needless to say, i was struggling more la! haha, but its quite pain-less i must say. then came home to study! =)

was studying so comfortably until my mum pulled me out for lunch and shopping! but i left her halfway and went to VJC for open house! haha, talked to the hockey teacher a little bit. didn't really go look around the school. he said he cannot give me a place for the first 3 months. but he say as long as my L1R5 is below 20 for Os, he'll get me a place! means i dont need to hit their cut off point of a sadistic 5 or 6. wahaha. so i'll probably be in innova or pioneer for my first 3 months la. boring. =P

then went to watch those hockey finals. here's a summary for RECS 2006. a hyper fruitful year la. haha. premier league champions for both guys and girls. division 1 champions for both guys and girls. division 2 champions for guys only, girls didn't send team. under-15 champions for both guys and girls. cool stuff right! RECS all the way! then went for dinner or should i say supper. ya. thank you wan ting for the chicken satay and sri lanka satay! =D

oh ya, learnt something new today. i imagined a scenario whereby you try commiting suicide by jumping onto the mrt track but didn't die in the end. you will have to pay high medical fees for broken bones and stuff. next, pay $5500. you cross the yellow line of the station, pay $500 fine. you jump onto track, pay another $5000 fine. its not worth la. commit suicide by jumping off a building will be much better! =)

this post is edited due to change of plans. alright, finally i had the feeling of being pangseh-ed. it felt terribly pissing of course, but there's nothing i could do right? complaining wouldn't change anything. so i chose to remain calm. ended up going to bugis to cut hair and bought lotsa stuff from the body shop. okok, i cant stand it already. i must admit im terribly pissed. yio chu kang may be near for many, but for a person living in the east, its not near. ok nvm, forget about what i'm saying. i'm just fuming yet calm now. ugh. revision time wasted, night somemore. okok, i already said complaining wouldnt change anything. i shall keep quiet and end here. dammit.

Project WTL! =)

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you; I love you too"

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming with you endlessly...

school was fine today, a little tiring though. oh, today i saw threee girls wearing guys soccer jersey. manchester united. haha. although i hate manchester united la, but i must say girls look really cool in soccer jerseys la. hmm, what if guys were in netball jerseys. omgosh, nono, sick. haha. geylang serai got big big pasar malam la! its the annual big one for hari raya. lots of food one la. i've been there for a few years running already. this year haven't got the time to go yet. anyone wanna go with me? take care of this semi-paralysed dude here. oh, last night my friend told me that i looked like some Ah Huat guy in the channel 5 sitcom, My Sassy Neighbour. i think its some ugly guy la. wrong wrong, i should be kwon sang woo remember? heh.

whee! checkup at hospital again today. cool stuff la, i saw my freaking wound for the first time when the bandage was removed, but it was only for a few seconds la. perfect is the word la. no line, no scar nothing. only the stitches left. then a new bandage was changed, this saturday can remove stitches already! cool la. soon, i'll be running and playing again. hehe. tried soccer today with the 'gang' but failed. sad stuff.

then off to a great dinner with my family! haha. oh, we saw this group of ah lians sitting on the floor of a shopping centre la! guess what? they were taking photos non stop. super scary la. then all those funny pose and act cute stuff. goodness me, i wanted to laugh so loudly. hahaha. alright, my dinner. everybody close your eyes and imagine. a chunk of tenderloin stick wrapped with bacon and grilled to perfection. wah!! haha. okok, don't close your eyes to imagine, coz if you close, you wouldn't be able to read what to imagine. heh, ok, i'm lame.

whee! today i went to school again! ok la, nobody was really pleased to see me again i must say. bleah! haha. anyways, first day back to school and the fun started straightaway. early in the morning got beautiful cake to play with, then the very very slack lessons and ended early also coz its truncated timetable. so the 'gang' and i went to a cybercafe to play fight fight game and shoot shoot game. so very fun and cheap! haha, cheap thrills. cool stuff.

alright, i'm not umpiring for src 4-a-side already. its on the 4th and Os is on the 6th. i'll be insane if i spent the whole day umpiring instead of mugging. hahaha. i learnt something recently. smart people cannot talk to smart people, conflicts will arise. i always have doubts and disagreements when chatting with the smart ones like me. nono, i'm not being thick skinned, i mean it.

one more thing. i have come across many insensitive and childish friends in my life. some are totally absurd. as most of you may know, i'm recovering from surgery and suffering quite badly few days back. so when this friend came to say hi, i was complaining i'm feeling terrible. so this really nice friend made fun of me. then i was serious about it and restated my stand again. i was then labelled as boring. goodness me. some people just want laughter and fun all the time. its good or bad i don't know? such people will always be there to share joy with you, good thing. but when you're facing downs in life, stay away from these friends. yea.

WINSTON LAYS! THANKS FOR POKING MY WOUND TODAY WITH YOUR MIGHTY LITTLE FINGER AH. PLEASE LA, YOU THINK I SKIPPED SCHOOL FOR A WEEK ISIT? ITS CALLED RECOVERY, NOT TRUANCY. I WOULDN'T FAKE A SURGERY YOU DUMB! I PROMISE TO KILL YOU WHEN I RECOVER FULLY. HAH. =D

LIFE is like Chemistry.
Dilute your sorrows
Evaporate your worries.
Filter your Happiness
and you will find Crystals of LOVE!

wah, this morning woke up to a very very very clear sky. greatness. but last night was really terrible. the Please Stay Indoors/Please Stop Indonesia(PSI) index hit 150 and it hit me as well. my fever was really bad. head, neck, shoulders, back were aching so bad. whole body la. then stomach ache came in. so no choice, went to hospital late at night. i was all ready to be warded and get a painful drip. in the end, doctor gave me painkillers and said byebye. well, it wasn't such a bad night though. someone made the night a whole lot better and gave me healthier doses of painkillers. ya, so the painkillers the doctor gave were left untouched.

moon festival over already isit? gosh, been so sick to even realised it was on last friday. wasted. could have went to carry lanterns, look for a chiobu on the moon or something like that. hahaha. its been 10 weekends and i've spent all of it at home studying and lazing around. i haven't been going out with my family. my mum is right, she says i'm just like a foreign student who has come to rent a room to stay. gosh. anyways, spent the whole day rotting away again today. yes ivan, i know your mc till 14th this month, but please go back to school tomorrow.

I don't really know love
I didn't know it'd come like this

I can't seem to control my heart when it comes to love
I wouldn't have started if I knew it'd be like this

Now that it's too late to turn back, I'm having regrets
I hope you wouldn't be loved
I hope that you wouldn't be my love

I told myself I didn't love you
I hope we were just passing acquaintances
Because all I'll have left is pain
But even so, I want you
It's making me sad

A wrong start.
That's all I saw it as

I believed I could let you go any time
I don't know what went wrong

I have to avoid your love
But I long for you

Now I'm nothing without you
I can't do anything about it
Knowing that I must erase you...

gosh, bloody hazy weather. this morning the PSI Index was reading a shocking 130! i so wanna kill those indonesians that set the fire. inconsiderate. they purposely burn during this period of the year because the westerlies winds are blowing towards singapore. i'm still recovering from my surgery and the haze had to come.

since last night, my chest pains came back. the sore throat also came back to haunt. moments ago, i took my temperature and realised im running a fever. i am super pissed, fuming and irritated. i wanna go back to school on monday, now everything looks like its not possible. i spent the whole day in my room today. ate my meals in my room and practically slept the whole day in my room. then watched the korean drama fullhouse. its a nice show. haha. was supposed to go watch wooden shoe with mingfen and cooks, but the haze asked me to stay at home. lol.

oh ya, the new shopping centre vivocity opens today. i'll be there sooner or later. haha. God, please let me recover to at least 80% by monday can? thanks ah.

cool pic eh? [ivaninho's scoop]

finally i went out after so many days of recovering from my surgery. haha. went to coach house today. dare not take bus because i scared my wounds kanna bump! haha, cab lor. safe and sound. went there to discuss the club's future plans and had lunch. alot of things discussed la. aiya, nothing seems bright ahead anyway. still all so gloomy. oh ya, watched tapes of myself playing in this year's premier league. then coach gave pointers for me to learn. learned alot today i must say. too late to go crumpler shopping in the end. so it is postponed. hahaha.

i got an interesting friend. i am the victim, i went surgery. so he said he wanted to visit me. i said okay, come my house. then he tell me he lazy, then i told him not to come lor. he then told me to take a cab to his house to find him. oh my goodness, likedat call visit ah? patient visit visitor? cool stuff. haha, weird and funny people revolving around me. heh. oh ya, i'm umpiring src 4-a-side. any schools wanna bribe me? please contact me ah. thanks. hehe.

alright, i'm making speedy recovery. more mobile now, no more chest pains, no more sore throat. i feel good. haha, i spent the whole of today staying at home to watch cartoon network! its amazing how the channel attracts me. i watched one cartoon, when it ended, i decided to see what the next one was. then the next one was kinda interesting, so i watched the whole of it. followed by the next and next and next. it goes on and it is highly addictive! ya, i'm a kid. also watched some hockey on tv, analysed and took down a little notes. i can't wait to play again! =D

i'm gonna touch on something rather sensitive today. recently my school had a public apology made by this girl who went to talk bad about a teacher on her blog. therefore, that was her senseless punishment. are we under some communist rule of the teachers? why can't we say what we want. its not as if we were saying stuff like, that teacher is going bankrupt soon or something like that. we are just saying stuff like how we dislike a teacher due to this and that the teacher has done. its just facts. nothing wrong with it.

then the loser teachers found out and decided to punish with public apology. not happy, try suing the student la. i don't even think it is illegal, so it just would not work. so no choice, the teachers abuse their authority and make the students apologise in front of the whole school. why are teachers agitated by such comments on the blog? because it is true! it hit the nail on their head! so they feel inferior, they wanna revenge by making students apologise. wrong wrong move. it just makes the teacher look like a bigger loser.

the girl also stupid la, go apologise. no choice, must be the teachers threatened her with suspension, expulsion or something like that. i had a post about this teacher i dislike as well. i was caught and told to delete it fast, its still around and i do not care. its titled The Evil One under the featured posts column on the right side of this page. go see if you all want. well, i hope a teacher sees what i have typed today and catch me. i'm gonna tell them off in their face. do whatever you want to me, i am pure rebellion because i find there's nothing wrong. expel, suspend or cane me. i'll make it big, and when i say big, i really mean big. its funny how i love my school so much sometimes and ironically hate it so much sometimes.

a sad thought resulted in this second post of the day. i've been through four years without school hockey. i still remember vividly not very long ago when i was that shorty captain of my primary school hockey team. it was so fun. a well bonded team within the school. sharing joy and pain together. victories and defeats. how the team used to secretly play hockey in class during recess until a teacher came to scold us. trainings and matches where we would play all out and have fun bonding together at the end of the day. how we planned and discussed stuff together.

those bus trips to our matches were always filled with fun and laughter. after winning, the bus trip back would be a terribly noisy one. defeats will result in a long quiet journey back to school. i really missed those times. well, i chose tanjong katong over saint andrew's. i have only myself to blame. its a really competitive tournament within the many schools. its cool but sadly, i've not been part of it in my four years of secondary school life. never mind, perhaps JC hockey next year, i'll give my 101% for the 2 years to makeup for all that i've missed.

eight years of hockey i've played and i've achieved nothing much. captain for the youth sides in SRC. national under-16. premier league. ya, that's all. eight years and that's all i've achieved. its a disappointment la. my progress hasn't been much and its been super slow in fact. well, insufficient school hockey is one factor. basics not done, only get friendlies and matches as trainings for me. bad stuff la. give another person 8 years of club and school hockey. easily they would have stepped into the national team. hockey is my life, my everything, but it still seems like i got nothing.

my target now is to represent singapore in the next SEA games held in singapore. it could be in 2009 if laos decide to withdraw. otherwise, it would be in 2013. yes, i will be there. nono, i must be there.

I FREAKING COUGHED BLOOD OUT LAST NIGHT! but i didn't really care, i just went to sleep. these few days pretty cool la. i got to drink expensive ginseng bird's nest and also treated like royalty la. haha, but of course got bad stuff also. from surgery over till now, i only washed my hair once and wiped my body once. never bathed. when i was wahing my hair, it was also a horrible experience. luckily i haven't been shitting, or else i would have problems wiping! heh.

last night was easier to sleep somehow. when should i go back to school? i do not know. anyway, my friends are saying that truncated timetable in school now is a waste of time. they say keep doing papers only, never learn anything. but doing papers is a process of learning things what. they ask me to rest all i want before going back. ugh. i really do not know. anyone wanna come visit me? i'm getting super bored. bleah.

oh ya, i did something super retarded yesterday. because my wound was bandaged so well, i could not feel any pain at all. being the dumb person with itchy fingers i am, i decided to try poke the bandage. then, i felt it! goodness me. i finally realised its a bandage after all, its not a shield. =(

last night was a really hard night to pass through. i had to lie in a fixed position, cannot twist and turn like i usually do. i had cramps on my upper body every few minutes. my upper body was also aching throughout. it was really a tough night. when i breathed in too hard, i get those piercing chest pains. its terrible i tell you.

just came home from hospital for my checkup. mc is given till the 14th this month, but doctor says i can return to school when i feel alright. i'll never feel alright la. dammit, he's also gonna remove my stitches just few days before my O lvl practical exams. what if i'm still not very mobile by then how? i always don't have enough time to complete. this week till 20th is truncated timetable. its specially for the big Os. i better try to get back to school tomorrow or the day after. otherwise, i'm really dead.

people, I SURVIVED! just got home. operation was very successful. nothing went wrong. except some chest pains i'm having now. it will go away soon. today when i went into the operating theatre, i was left to lie on the operating table for more than an hour. it was the worst time of my life i tell you. i had to stare at all those sharp equipment and the scariest of all were the huge lights. why? because doctor had urgent meeting and was late.

i complain hungry, they go put a drip for me. needles again. i should have kept my mouth shut. luckily the nurses were nice, they brought a radio into the operating theatre for me to listen to. the whole operating team was there la, waiting for the late surgeon. then they were ready to start when the surgeon came. anaesthetist put a jab into my drip.

the next thing i knew was that i opened my eyes and was already in the recovery ward. haha, cool stuff. anyway, not much pain. just feeling super weak now. i shall go sleep. thank you everyone for praying and wishing me well. =)

woow! last night or should i say this morning went roaming aimlessly with another long lost friend who's afraid not to see me again after monday. argh. we went to that beautiful bridge at indoor stadium to enjoy the breeze and then we freaking walked all the way to suntec city. to our surprise, it was still quite lively inside! we went in to enjoy the free leg massage thingy. haha, so cool la. then we cabbed home! =)

spent my day watching singapore cricket club international sixes hockey tournament today. it was a really cool tournament la. playing on such beautiful grass. its been long since i last played on grass. haha, its a slower game and nicer to play i guess. alright, now that i've mastered the upright reverse hit, the next thing i'm gonna train on is the reverse hit which i saw the team form india do today. its super effective la. anyway, i can only start training it after i've totally recovered from my surgery tomorrow.

ya, the surgery tomorrow. everyone believes i will not die, i think so too. been receiving many wishes and nice stuff. but some, they took it as a joke. there are also some who asked me out to see my face the last time because they believe i won't make it. who cares, i have to start fasting later and get ready tomorrow. people, wait for my good news! =)