a sad thought resulted in this second post of the day. i've been through four years without school hockey. i still remember vividly not very long ago when i was that shorty captain of my primary school hockey team. it was so fun. a well bonded team within the school. sharing joy and pain together. victories and defeats. how the team used to secretly play hockey in class during recess until a teacher came to scold us. trainings and matches where we would play all out and have fun bonding together at the end of the day. how we planned and discussed stuff together.

those bus trips to our matches were always filled with fun and laughter. after winning, the bus trip back would be a terribly noisy one. defeats will result in a long quiet journey back to school. i really missed those times. well, i chose tanjong katong over saint andrew's. i have only myself to blame. its a really competitive tournament within the many schools. its cool but sadly, i've not been part of it in my four years of secondary school life. never mind, perhaps JC hockey next year, i'll give my 101% for the 2 years to makeup for all that i've missed.

eight years of hockey i've played and i've achieved nothing much. captain for the youth sides in SRC. national under-16. premier league. ya, that's all. eight years and that's all i've achieved. its a disappointment la. my progress hasn't been much and its been super slow in fact. well, insufficient school hockey is one factor. basics not done, only get friendlies and matches as trainings for me. bad stuff la. give another person 8 years of club and school hockey. easily they would have stepped into the national team. hockey is my life, my everything, but it still seems like i got nothing.

my target now is to represent singapore in the next SEA games held in singapore. it could be in 2009 if laos decide to withdraw. otherwise, it would be in 2013. yes, i will be there. nono, i must be there.