it was a wrenching night for me yesterday. true or false, i've lost. tried my best, did all i could, there's nothing more to do. you don't always reap what you sow. everything was so bad that i skipped school today just to have some quiet time alone.

dad dropped me in school, then i walked out of school and took a bus. wanted to go east coast, but ended up on the tip or orchard at tanglin mall. had macs breakfast before walking down the whole of orchard road. first time i walked the whole stretch or town. saw cool stuff, new puma boutique selling really expensive clothes, not the sporty type, smart wear type. pau and pam were giving me lots of encouragement through smses early in the morning. people with name starting with PA are nice! =D

i ended up in marina square, went on a shopping spree to make myself feel better. bought sleeveless, bought shorts. then went to candy empire at millenia walk. really big place selling all sorts of imported sweet stuff never seen before. lots of rare willy wonka stuff too. cooks caught me while i was shopping, we went back club together and kel came. i told them what happened over lunch. kel gave some advice, thanks alot!

we then went to delta for the nationals friendly. ben, ishak, noordin, kel, pau, cooks and i went to eat after the game. on the way there pau woken me up with some really logical reasoning and encouragement. didn't know she was such an understanding person. i really appreciate all that she has said alot. she has helped me think clearly what my next move should be. thanks pau! thank you cooks and kel for spending with me the day!

i was once an ATM and a slave to someone i really liked. i was made to wait willingly and was given hope when she liked me. i've realised that it was all a plot to make me wait longer and make use of me more. what a fool i've been. now that i'm of no more use, the truth is revealed. i shall now leave quietly with regrets of my foolishness. my time, effort and money. mentally and emotionally exhausted. we've spent so much wonderful moments together, stayovers and even went on a cruise together. i should have known from the start, now 2 years of my life has been wasted. i now feel sorry for rejecting the others in these 2 years just because of her. nothing can be done to turn back time. words can't describe how i feel. i really did alot and all i can but in vain. why am i so unlucky? it was quite an enjoyable 2 years though. i shall just say hard luck and pick myself up. to all those who care, do not worry, i'll need time but i shall move on and be stronger from here. thanks everyone! =)